Over the last several days I’ve been thinking a lot about parenting and fatherhood. Here are few thoughts I’ve had that I think are worth sharing. 

Everyone has experience with parenting because we’re all someone’s child. Some have amazing parents while others have had to endure pain and hurt. No matter if we have a positive outlook on parenting or we are fearful that we going to mess it up and therefore mess up our children, the good news is that being a parent and being perfect don’t go together. There is only one who is the perfect parent and He is able to guide us on how to be better parents. 

Children are not perfect either. When we hold a new baby for the first time we are amazed because they appear to be perfect in our eyes. However, it is not long before you realize they have a mind of their own. Then in a blink they are teenagers who begin to experience independence by making their own decisions. When our children mess up the most important thing we can do is to make sure they know we love them. Then make sure they understand the disciple we give and the consequences of their actions. The Apostle Paul writes in Romans 3:23 that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” That means every one of us including our children will make mistakes. Some mistakes come with difficult consequences while others are minor and short lived. Our role as parents is to give instructions and guide our children when they have failed. 

Most of us have received some sort of education in our lives. Probably all of us have received a high school diploma or graduated college. For some education might be on the job training. When we pursue educational growth (formal or informal) the goal is that we become knowledgable in that field. What if we took that same motivation employed in learning our chosen field and implemented it into parenting. What if we worked just as hard in learning to parent. What if we studied our children so that we would no what fuels them, what breaks their heart, what motivates them and what makes them feel loved. I would think it would be worth the effort as we “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). 

Having good character means that we are who we actually are even when no one is around. Are we honest and kind or are we selfish and rude? As parents we what our children to have good character. We want them to exhibit “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control” (Galatians 5:22). So how do we build character in our children? We show and tell. We demonstrate it as an example to them. Without a doubt, children are a reflection of their parents. If we want these characteristics in our children we have to demonstrate it in our own lives too. 

Parents need to look to other parents as examples. Gain hope and inspiration from parents who have gone before us. When things are tough, look to see how others who have gone through it handled the situation. Listen to the Heavenly Father who says, “My grace is sufficient for you, or my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). There are great examples of amazing parents all around you. Ask for their help. Seek their counsel. Don’t try to tackle everything all on your own. 

I have had so many amazing parents in my life. I have watch some suffer with grief and anxiety when things have been difficult. I have seen so many dads and moms cherish every moment with their children. I have seen loving dads leave their children with inspiration and legacy. I have seen patient mothers give and give so sacrificially to their children. It’s the greatest joy to be a parent and at the same time its the hardest job on planet earth. 

In Christ alone,

Alex Mills

To John Ward: A great example of a great dad.