Married for a year? You pull out the stale old cake from your wedding day, take a bite, and then wish you hadn’t.
Married for five years? You probably go on a little trip if you can, but probably not since by then you’ll likely have at least one little one clinging to you every second of the day.
Married for ten years? You’re going on a little trip if you have to tie the little monsters to their beds and sneak away in the middle of the night.
Married for fifteen years? Maybe you’ll do something. Probably you’ll be too tired.
Married for twenty years? Hold up. I’m not there yet. I have no idea what we’ll do next year. I doubt I’ll be able to afford it.
As of today, Lauren and I have been married for nineteen years. That’s not an anniversary that people hold up as a milestone, but in a small way, this is a special one for me. I married Lauren when I was 20 years old and about to turn 21. This year I am 39 and about to turn 40, which means (if my math is right and it usually isn’t) this is the last year where I can say I was unmarried for a bigger part of my life than I have been married, which is weird to think about. Basically, half my life has been lived with Lauren right there with me. I don’t know what I’d do without her right there with me.
I’m reminded of Solomon’s words…
A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.
(Proverbs 12:4)
A wife is depicted here as a crown worn by her husband. If you read that and are outraged thanks to your modern, feminist ideals, spare me the outrage. “Oh, you’ve taken away her agency!” Blah blah blah. Spare me. Solomon depicts a wife as a jewel-studded treasure, as the most visible and obvious sign of a husband’s status. A king with a dingy crown is not respected. A king with a glistening crown is seen as someone who clearly has done well for himself. By the same token, a wife reflects either positively or negatively on her husband. A virtuous wife makes her husband look good. Guess what? A good husband makes his wife look good, too! The opposite is also the case: She who acts shamefully is “rottenness in his bones,” Solomon says. A bad wife is not a crown jewel but a disease, killing her husband from the inside. Likewise, a husband who disrespects his wife does her great harm.
I have a crown jewel of a wife. For nineteen years and counting, she’s been the best part of me, and the reason I’m even halfway close to being the kind of man God would have me be.
Here’s to nineteen more, and a hundred and nineteen after that, if God wills.
~Matthew